last few hours of 55….


Birthdays are weird when you get past 45..

I’m not thrilled….but glad to still be here..alive and all that… just another year done, and this 56 thing seems like a big old age…when inside I’d say I’m just touching 40..

been a weird year…. from the PGCE -( Teacher training…). #DeathByOfsted, finding myself back in Oracle world.. writing code and fixing stuff again…which was not a bad thing given I had absolutely nothing to live on for the last few years after my attempt at being a career renegade failed miserably even if it was totally enjoyable and the most fun I had ever.. BUT…. I can now pay bills..and I have new knickers..just its not Mumbai and its not exciting…

and here I am…35 minutes away from being 56 and just 4 years away from 60…

Not keen on this age thing me, not keen at all…the clock seems to be ticking far too fast…the years are whizzing by…and day after day wasted doing stuff I really don’t want to be doing.. I’m still figuring out what I want to do when I grow up … and still chasing ideas,dreams…

Zohra Segal , possibly my most favourite woman in the whole world… died a  few years ago aged 104.. She started  whole new careers at 55 (film actress), 70 – opened a theatre in Lahore and 90 – started urdu Poetry reading …

it was ok till I hit 45, which on a good day could be considered my halfway line.

.on that birthday (45) I can remember being  stood outside a Manchester nightclub at 3am ..a Thursday morning (this is why I lost my job btw)…having had a great night,still laughing, and dancing.. some young man was pledging his love , sort of… stood on top of his car (it was a really good night..lots of craziness..

and I knew that before long I’d be too old to do this…not physically but socially..I wouldn’t be able to fit in anymore, I’d just be toooooooooo old…

and all the lovely gifts of getting older just kept on coming …  additional body hair in lots of new places, like my chin and top lip,

and still cannot get used to my face in the mirror…looks like its sort of falling down a bit 🙂 seriously I have hooded eyes now…and my eyelids are wrinkled :)) and ffs my hair is WHITE … I stripped the dye expecting to reveal my natural colour with a sprinkling of grey and .. guess what..I’m all silver with a smattering of grey…apart from my chin where the hair is jet black..say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat Mother Nature ??

Thing is..I’m still alive…which is always a good thing ..some of my friends, family aren’t….but the time is definitely here to hit the ‘things I’ve always wanted to do’ list.

Sort of Bucket List stuff, although my ‘bucket list’ is all ‘start a global multinational co-operative’ and ‘radically alter the way people see life and work’ and  ‘change the world’ , bungee jumping and travel aren’t my thing, although I would like to see Afghanistan before I die… on the back of a horse in the mountains with the Mujahadeen, which would also involve time travel backwards, so quite possibly won’t happen

(check out Jason Elliott, ‘An Unexpected Light’ for that one)

no, my bucket list is something else… its not a list really… its about stretching who I am, believing in my ideas, knowing I’m like the least able person in the universe to go thousands of miles to start a thing.. but doing it anyway… #MissionMumbai

for those of you that read this regularly, it could get a bit bizarre around here…I’m tidying up the website so at least people that might support me and project ‘MissionMumbai’, can get some idea of what I’ve done, who I am.and what I know..

.. so stray posts like the Twitter Tips the other day, might pop up…apologies in advance