Lost car keys. …


Its Christmas Eve, I lost my car keys yesterday…

 

cheesed that I couldn’t go the gym, gutted even….and foot hurts from walking all the way to the Trafford centre, and then the hard marble floors, schlepping round the shops, and then another two hours in Asda…

my daughters been round and couldn’t give her a lift home…

 

schlepped again to the shop for gas and electric..

 

I could be really down

 

but

 

and this is desi thinking…

 

oh…add to the picture above a background of Xmas where there really isn’t enough money…2013 looks marginally better so its not that bad but the last few weeks have had more than their fair share of gruesome moments…there’s been a lot of tears… its a long story but no-one in my immediate circle is doing well, and the few that are have already helped all that they can…

 

anyway…. on top of all that, and some serious financial micro-management we’ve scraped our way through to Christmas.. a last minute cash bonus from a very good client helped a LOT…

but that was after I lost the keys…and If I’d had the keys I probably wouldn’t have had time to talk to her, to connect ..

 

and I spent the day with my son, we walked there(the Trafford Centre) together…it was raining…not too hard and not too cold…cold enough to make my ears burn by the time we were almost there…on top of this I also was wearing boots that are a little bit too big, and cut the back of my heels…and oh yeah, I might have a broken foot….not properly broken just I hurt it back in August and it feels like I’m gonna explode when i walk..but you know I had a really nice day…I mean a REALLY nice day…

 

my sister came round, not her best Christmas either…but holding it good..

and now my sons come round, and I’ve spent hours today watching TV..

 

.and its been pretty good really..

 

and the keys is not such a bad thing…

 

this is the most chilled Xmas eve I’ve ever had…I’m usually the one doing the running around…no-one else drives…insanely driving aorund for hours, dropping off turkeys and presents and ferrying the entire family on errands..

and instead

I’m blogging, something I never seem to have the time to do…and one of my besties has fallen out with me :)) but then again, if he hadn’t I’d probably be talking to him instead of sitting here witing this….

The chaiwallah is really not happy with me at the moment but I’ll explain all about that another time (laughing hard..long story)..

 

anyway…

 

its Christmas Eve…everyone’s saying it doesn’t feel like Christmas..its raining, everyones broke

 

but maybe this is what Christmas really feels like…

 

not all that hard partying..and over indulgent buying…maybe its more about time…lost and lots of time…just chatting to each other..and eating nice food..and crying with laughing together as we drag out fridges and washing machines looking for those goddamn keys…

 

I realised today that for the first time in age I was outside, breathing fresh air and walking…I finally got chance to take a really good look at the view from Barton Bridge…something I’ve been trying to do for years in the car, almost crashed a couple of times:)

139bartonrdswingbridgea

and yeah, today I just stood there and looked , I noticed houses that were hundreds of years old close up…and could feel their age…their seniority amongst the new developments…

and then I hit The Trafford centre..and Asda…but lest not go there

 

I actually threw a make-up bag present thing acroos Boots :))) much to Josh;s amusement.. he finds my tantrums, up to a point, incredibly amusing..

 

anyway…Ill talk about me and the mancub another time…

 

he told me today I was more like a dad, in fact a mum and a dad rolled into one… :)) I think I like that..and we talked about trust, and how I just let him decide what he does and when, because I trust his judgement absolutely..and always have…

 

anyway…where was I…. Christmas Eve..been so busy stressing about my keys..that I haven’t died my hair or shaved my legs, and bare nails…I got threaded 16th, so at least no moustache…I don;t even know what I’m wearing tomorrow

 

I used to be so incredibly anal about looking good at Christmas it beggars belief that I could really be sat here right now, so calm in a scruffy house, without money, presents wrapped in last years paper (which was slightly mould by the way)..

and I’m actually quyite chilled…all the important thimngs in my life are ok, more o than they have been a long tim, ever maybe…my relationship with my kids is better than its has ever been…and everything I always wnated it to be…

This is slowly looking like the best Christmas I have ever had…

I had a eureka moment a few days ago when I realised that I had lost of Christmases with lost of money (used to have a very good job)..but the were awful,and I mean truly awful..I used to the queen of Christmas anxiety..its a f***g nightmare for anyone with ADD..and that too I think needs to be the subjectof another blog post )think all that aadvertisingstraction + needing to organise things,school holidays on top of being a full-time+ working single parent mum) I cancan’t bothered to expexplain but most if not all previous xmas’s have been marred by my acts of domestic violence (bread suacesaucehe kistckitchens) fa a result of my obsseobsession trying to give my kids a perfect Christmas irony

 

anyway

 

where was I

 

no car keys and familial bliss

 

think I’ll leave it there and go pour the Baileys 🙂

 

Merry Christmas Everybody…may it find you as peaceful happy and proud f my kids as I am

 

my son actually made a Yule log with his 4 yr old daughter today…no letting the lack of cash get to him..and so sweet..and tomorrow I’ll have to walk to my daughters, its a couple of miles away…through a beautiful wooded park..Buile Hill

Buile Hill Park

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About Jen

I really will fill this in...just as soon as I've worked out how to explain the bizarre blend of strangeness and normality that is me,

Posted on December 25, 2012, in Random Updates. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Lost car keys. ….

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